The Battle of TC Jester V

The fifth installment of the Battle of TC Jester is upon us and the Nosebleeds aren’t exactly the team we expected to see. Colin Kaepernick burst onto the scene last week in the wake of Andrew Luck’s concussion and is now challenging for the starting spot for the remainder of the season. If Luck doesn’t play this will be the first time he has missed the rivalry that wasn’t due to injury – and the first time the starting quarterback for the Colts is not the QB of choice (Hasselbeck received a start last year). Also gone are the days of Adrian Peterson leading the backfield, as Melvin Gordon has taken the helm.

The Horsemen are nearly at full strength with a questionable Lamar Miller but an array of difficult matchups look to be a daunting challenge.

After a heartbreaking loss to the Horsemen in week 2 due to some poor roster management, the Nosebleeds need to outscore them by more than 16 in order to bring the trophy home for the first time since 2012. A loss means two straight years of a swept series, 5 straight losses in individual contests, back-t0-back-to-back-to-back rivalry championships to the Horsemen, and another year of complete sadness.

The Horsemen are a slight early favorite with a 54.1% chance of victory.

The last time the Nosebleeds won by more than 16 was in December of 2012.

Year	Week	Wes Score	O Score	W/L	Margin
2012	4	109	97	W	12
2012	13	91	108	L	-17
2013	4	119	96	W	23
2013	13	87	92	L	-5
2014	4	110	91	W	19
2014	13	118	134	L	-16
2015	2	113	67	W	46
2015	13	139	79	W	60
2015	14	95	84	W	11
2016	2	89	73	W	16

There’s more on the line in week 13 than just the coveted JW Memorial Trophy and all the sadness ever. Despite the 3 division leaders of the Inner Loop having clinched playoff spots and just playing for seeding, the Outer Loop is wide open. The improbable division leaders, 3rd and Unpredictable come into town to take on the skidding Legs With Holes – losers of their last three. The winner of this game between 6-6 teams likely becomes the division champion and earns the 2 seed in the playoffs.

But there’s more… if Legs With Holes wins this contest and the third 6-6 team, Strictly Southern, can defeat Straight Laced while scoring 35 points more than Legs With Holes… he becomes the lone representative from the Outer Loop in the playoffs. So this quasi-play-in game for LWH and COE can be shaken up if Strictly Southern can come out with a strong finale.

So, the only person that wants Legs With Holes to win is probably Strictly Southern.

As far as the Inner Loop is concerned, the Horsemen can retake the division with either a win and a Closet Hillbilly loss OR a win while scoring 18 more than a victorious Closet Hillbilly. The Nosebleeds will retain the 1 seed with a victory.  The winner of the Inner Loop will be forced to take on another Inner Looper, so it remains to be seen whether anyone will be playing to intentionally get the 3 seed for a chance at facing the Outer Loop champion in the 1st round.

The last spots in the Asshammer playoffs are also up for grabs, as Bumpy’s Berries and Drunken Aces are playing to avoid being a part of the last place tournament. Straight Laced and Extreme Baby Throwers have already clinched their spots.

Extreme Baby Throwers and Straight Laced have clinched a share of the bar tab – the question remains how much and who will join them.

(There is a strong chance none of the logic above is actually correct.)