Horsemen turn Legs With Holes to mush, take over #1 seed

Teddy Nigh of Legs With Holes usually keeps to himself except for a few unclever quips here and there via text message. No one really sees him aside from collecting money from him at the draft and collecting money from him at the trophy ceremony. Legs With Holes have never won a penny and prior to the 2016 season, they were leading the league in total fines.  They haven’t been to the playoffs since 2013 and are 0-2 in their only appearances back at the inception of the league. They’re the only team to blow a 6-2 start to miss the playoffs. The Cosmopolitan Outlaw League has only been a worse investment for one team, the worst team of all time, Straight Laced (formerly Dead Last).

Coming into week 10, Legs With Holes’ management seemed confident. There were some underwhelming statistics intended to demonstrate that the Horsemen weren’t good and a poorly written article to support them, but all they really said was that if the Horsemen and Legs With Holes played every week they would more or less split the series. Just a lot of noise. But that’s usually what Teddy Nigh gives you when he comes out of his cave to talk… noise. 

History hadn’t been kind to the Horsemen against Legs. But remember that 16.75 average margin of defeat against Legs With Holes referenced last week? That’s gone. It’s now Horsemen +2.20. In a single week, the Horsemen erased the margin from 4 straight losses in the second biggest blow out in team history – more than doubling LWH’s points, and crushing them by 78. They were turned into mush. Just a big mushy blob of noise.

No candy or money was exchanged because noise doesn’t earn money or pay for candy. Dominance does. Dominance earns money and pays for candy.

The big mushy blob of noise is likely trending toward blowing another strong start to the season and missing the playoffs… but there’s always 2013.

The Horsemen, however, have evened their record against the Outer Loop at 13-13-2 while taking over the 1 seed – and are now primed for their third straight playoff appearance.

The playoff picture isn’t any clearer than it was last week. The Horsemen and Nosebleeds are atop the league in competition for the 1 seed – which looks destined to come down to the week 13 finale of The Battle of TC Jester. The rest seems to be a jumbled mess. A win this week will, more or less, solidify a playoff spot for Legs With Holes and Closet Hillbilly (only one 7 win team has missed the playoffs… and it was Legs With Holes) – but a loss sends them back into the pack of not-quite-eliminated-challengers.

No one can afford a slip up… except Straight Laced and Extreme Baby Throwers… who are just playing to spoil other peoples’ seasons at this point. They are also playing for the honor of being the worst team ever.

Up in week 11 comes one of those aforementioned teams seeking a win to clinch a spot. The Horsemen have no interest in letting this happen.

Closet Hillbilly and the Electric Horsemen have scored an identical amount of points through 10 and have a 4-4 record in the all-time series while averaging 91 to 90.5 in head to head matchups. It looks pretty even except the only Inner Loop team Hillbilly has beaten this year are the 2-8 Extreme Baby Throwers – while the Horsemen are a strong 5-0 inside the division with another match with XBT still to come in week 12.

Year	Week	EH Score	CH Score	W/L
2012	10	84	79	W
2013	5	88	98	L
2013	9	81	95	L
2014	5	103	90	W
2014	9	115	103	W
2015	4	81	85	L
2015	11	65	84	L
2016	4	111	90	W

The Horsemen have not lost a game to Closet Hillbilly in which they have scored over 100 – but were swept in the 2015 championship season. They are an early 18 point favorite and have a current win probability of 75.6%.

Game of the Week
Drunken Aces over 3rd & Unpredictable

Other Games
Straight Laced over Legs With Holes
Bumpy’s Berries over Nosebleeds
Strictly Southern over Extreme Baby Throwers

Last Week 2-2
Overall 24-16