Horsemen surge, take control of Inner Loop

That’s more like it.

In his 44th start, Julio Jones made amends for his poor week 3 performance that led to an embarrassing loss. He set an Electric Horsemen record for points scored by a wide receiver in a single game with 36 and leapt over Matt Ryan in all-time scoring to 2nd place with 562 career points to Ryan’s 559. 

Ben Roethlisberger rode the pine this week after an awful showing last week. Old Man Turtle made the call and brought in Kirk Cousins, who was expected to have a higher floor, to make his first start for the squad. It wasn’t that Cousins had a terrible game – but Ben had a performance for the ages. Had he been in play, Ben would have set a single game record for QB (and any other position) points in a game at 44. The record was set by Ben in week 13 of 2015 against the Nosebleeds with 41.

The extra points weren’t necessary, as the Horsemen went on to lead the league in scoring for the first time in the 2016 season – and also finally eclipse the 100 point mark and raise their season average from 88 to 93.8. While this is still the worst scoring performance through 4 weeks in team history, the Horsemen are still atop the division with a 3-1 record and the tiebreak over the Nosebleeds.

The return to form of Le’Veon Bell after suspension has overshadowed any previous doubts due to their slow start, and the Horsemen look to welcome back another familiar face in week 5 in Tyler Eifert, so they can finally put an end to the Coby Fleener era at tight end.

Worth noting was Stephen Gostkowski’s record tying performance. With -1 points, he set a record for least points by a kicker and tied a record for least points overall. After a similar performance by Tavon Austin in week 15, ownership vowed to never again roster him. This does not seem to be the case for Gostkowski, who’s value should see a significant increase with the return of Tom Brady next week.

Week 5 welcomes a softening in the schedule. Opponents the Horsemen have faced in the first four weeks are 9-3 against opponents not called the Electric Horsemen. The next five opponents are all currently 1-3 and tied for last in the standings.

Up first are the Drunken Aces. They sit comfortably in last place in scoring, but should welcome a bit of a resurgence with Tom Brady’s return – assuming Gronkowski isn’t more hurt than he has been leading on. The Horsemen are 7-3 against the Aces, last losing to them by 44 points in week 6 of 2015. Despite the slaughter, the Horsemen still have an average margin of victory of 11.3 – and have only had more success against Bumpy’s Berries.

Team	APF	APA	Delta	W	L	T
Bumpy’s Berries	117.14	100.86	16.29	7	0
Drunken Aces	96.10	84.80	11.30	7	3
Nosebleeds	107.00	92.10	14.90	7	3
Extreme Baby Throwers	109.56	87.78	21.78	5	3	1
Straight Laced	92.75	91.00	1.75	2	2
Closet Hillbilly	91.00	90.50	0.50	4	4
3rd and Unpredictable	101.67	104.17	-2.50	2	3	1
Strictly Southern	97.33	106.00	-8.67	1	4	1
Legs With Holes	86.50	103.25	-16.75	0	4

Neither team faces any significant bye week hurdles, as the Horsemen welcome the Saints bye in order to get the tight end position back to par with the standards set in 2015 after years of turmoil and a troublesome start to 2016. Even a limited Tyler Eifert has to be more consistent than Coby Fleener.

The 1-3 Drunken Aces are currently on pace to set a record low for points scored in a season. Their 79.5 PPG is 2 points below the all-time low set last year by 3rd and Unpredictable. They’ll need to improve their average significantly if they hope to upset the leader of the division.

Uncertainty abounds for the Aces. An ailing Gronkowski or the surging Rudolph? A mediocre Fozzy or an ailing Stewart? It seems like most of the hope lies on Aaron Rodgers having a massive game to keep them in this contest. The defending champions are once again left with a complicated decision at flex – deciding between Blount, Frank Gore, or a Julian Edelman that suddenly has one of the best quarterbacks in the league.

The Horsemen are currently 39.2 point favorites prior to any clear status update on Stewart – and have a 79.7% probability of victory against the Aces optimal lineup.

This could have the makings of a bloodbath – or one of the biggest upsets in league history.

Game of the Week
Straight Laced over Legs With Holes

Other Picks
Nosebleeds over 3rd and Unpredictable
Bumpy’s Berries over Strictly Southern
Closet Hillbilly over Extreme Baby Throwers

Last Week 3-1
Overall 9-7