Murphy’s Law Undoes Easy Win

What could go wrong did go wrong for the defending champions this week.

Every decision made by management in week 3 was the wrong decision. While facing another lackluster opponent (who is somehow undefeated after 3 weeks), the Horsemen couldn’t get out of their own way in a series of awful roster moves that sent them tumbling to their own doom.

The first of the fateful decisions was swapping out the Patriots defense for the Dolphins. Analysts across the country were on Miami to crush the Browns and Vegas seemed to confirm this with the largest point spread of the weekend. The Patriots scored 15… the Dolphins scored 3.

12 point difference.

LeGarrette Blount sat unused on the bench despite coming off two big games and playing with a 3rd string, mobile quarterback. 22 points on the bench. The lock, Lamar Miller? 10 points. Blount… AFC offensive player of the week.

12 point difference.

Offensive coordinator, Old Man Turtle, was given the final decision on who to flex between Stefon Diggs and Charles Sims. He chose, unquestionably, Charles Sims. Moments before game time, management chose to overrule his decision and bring in Diggs… an all-time bad decision based on wanting to care about the noon football games. Sims 17. Diggs 4.

13 point difference.

The Horsemen would go on to lose by 12 points. A disheartening loss that could have been prevented by making just one more right decision.

That or Julio Jones not being terrible.

 

The Horsemen have averaged 88.0 PPG through 3 weeks – the worst, by far, in franchise history. Additionally, this was the first time they had ever lost in week 3. They have also tied their worst start in franchise history through 3 weeks, with a 2-1 record. This could be far worse, but opponents are averaging a record low 82.7 PPG – leaving the Horsemen firmly in the driver’s seat for a playoff berth if they can get their high octane offense clicking again.

Year	Week	Record	PF	PA	PF/G	PA/G
2012	3	2-1-0	308	266	102.7	88.7
2013	3	3-0-0	335	264	111.7	88.0
2014	3	2-0-1	302	250	100.7	83.3
2015	3	3-0-0	393	308	131.0	102.7
2016	3	2-1-0	264	248	88.0	82.7

Week 4 brings a big matchup against what has, thus far, been the most explosive team in the league – Closet Hillbilly. Averaging a league best 115 PPG, they are coming off a huge upset to the hands of the Nosebleeds – who would take advantage of their poorest outing of the season.

The Horsemen welcome back a key component of the squad for this week, as Le’Veon Bell has finished serving his suspension for missing drug tests. They are now just one piece away from having their ideal lineup on the field together, with Eifert looking more and more likely to return for week 5. Hillbilly, on the other hand, is missing a couple starters for week 4 with the beginning of bye weeks. Jordy Nelson and Jordan Matthews will both be sitting this one out, replaced by waiver wire add and every position phenom, Terrelle Pryor – along with Michael Crabtree.

Closet Hillbilly leads the all-time series 4-3 with a 2.43 average margin of victory. Despite the contrasting starts to the season, these two teams both sit 2-1 and are tied atop the Inner Loop standings – and the Horsemen, averaging 27 less PPG, are an early 12.8 point favorite. ESPN Insider also gives the Horsemen a 59% chance at victory… but they sat with better odds last week in an embarrassing loss.

A roster battle between Ben Roethlisberger and Kirk Cousins remains to be settled before Sunday – with the final unquestioned decision to be made by Old Man Turtle.

Game of the Week
Nosebleeds over Extreme Baby Throwers

Other Picks
Straight Laced over Bumpy’s Berries
Strictly Southern over 3rd and Unpredictable
Legs With Holes over Drunken Aces
Last Week 1-3
Overall 6-6