Horsemen open season against battered Holes

It was months ago last we saw Legs With Holes.

There was a crisp chill in the December air but the Holes were unaffected – they were not hardened as one would expect from the cold, they were mushy as ever. It was 43 degrees at noon on that Houston Sunday and the Horsemen were ready to party, and party they did. It was the championship game, a championship game Legs With Holes should never have been a part of.

The Horsemen dismantled the Holes… in that game the Horsemen had the least points for a winning team in a championship game. The Holes had the least points in the championship game ever. Fitting for a team that, through the regular season, scored the 3rd least points of a team to make the playoffs and the 17th least points ever. Every team wanted the Holes in 2016… Closet Hillbilly was a house of cards, the Horsemen were a bulldozer.

Welcome to 2017 and the rematch. A rematch that sees a Legs With Holes team which shed much of their talent in the offseason for what amounted to worthless draft picks. It’s really amazing how poorly he managed a championship runner up. See below a few examples of some poorly executed trades by Legs With Holes in the offseason and the final weeks before the trade deadline of 2016.

• A.J. Green was traded for what would become Tyreek Hill and Hunter Henry.
• Michael Thomas was traded away for Tyler Eifert and what would become Samaje Perine.
• Jordan Howard was traded for Jameis Winston and what would become Jameis Winston – and then dropped Jameis Winston for Jeremy Hill.

Yes, he traded Jordan Howard (a player generally drafted in the 1st or 2nd round in redraft) for Jeremy Hill.

Now his team is in shambles.

It started earlier this week as a botched ruling allowed Ezekiel Elliott to play in week 1 – rendering Darren McFadden useless.

It continued on Wednesday morning as the NFL canceled the Miami/Buccaneers game due to Hurricane Irma – sending his prized Jay Ajayi to warm the bench.

It’s now up to a ramshackle group of poorly assembled football players to unseat the defending champion in search of his 3rd straight victory over a team that, before being slaughtered by 78, mocked the Horsemen for their bad luck losses. That one victory erased the entire margin of defeat from the prior 4 games. The average score between the two is now 95.5 – 89.5 in favor of Horsemen.

Year	Week	Wes Score	Ted Score	W/L	Margin
2012	6	72	80	L	-8
2013	6	85	107	L	-22
2014	6	106	110	L	-4
2015	12	83	116	L	-33
2016	10	148	70	W	78
2016	15	79	54	W	25

And here we go… while it may not be a true representation of how poor Legs With Holes really is, they’re about 7 points more than this if they don’t give up before they add a kicker.

 

The Horsemen have been consumed with a sense of overconfidence with the realization that they may have the opportunity to start off dealing losses to the first 0-13 team in the history of the Cosmopolitan Outlaw League. ESPN just drives it home, giving the Horsemen a 91.9% (kickerless) chance of victory.

At electrichorsemen.com we felt we needed to be less biased so we brought in fantasypros.com to analyze the matchup as well. I mean, just in case we’re getting bad information…..

Lolz. #thirdride

In other news…

• The Ezekiel Elliott led Strictly Southern will upset the championship wannabee and Mike Evans-less Nosebleeds.
• Behind poor showings by everyone except A.J. Green, the Closet Hillbilly – another fake contender – will lose to the Drunken Aces.
• The ever disappointing Straight Laced (Dead Last) will continue their losing ways against an unimpressive 3rd and Unpredictable.
• Let’s be real, Extreme Baby Throwers are really bad and it doesn’t matter how bad Bumpy’s Berries are. Berries win.