Horsemen avoid embarrassment, roll on through gutter tour

You wouldn’t think it from the finale score, but things were looking pretty grim early in the afternoon on Sunday for our champions. Drew Brees was doing Drew Brees things and crushing the Carolina Panthers while Ben Roethlisberger was doing Ben Roethlisberger things and being completely terrible in an away game against a bad defense. And then he got hurt.

There was a lot of sadness in the offices of the Electric Horsemen as they awaited the knee diagnosis during halftime.

If there’s one thing that’s good for curing sadness, though, it’s probably touchdowns. The Horsemen have been severely lacking in this category in 2016 – relying on big passing games from the big man to pull out victories. The promise in the preseason of an explosive team came to fruition in week 6. Coby Fleener scored twice, catapulting himself to the #5 TE in scoring in team history with the 5th best performance by a tight end all time.

Julio Jones also chipped in with some afternoon yards and a score despite what would have been a matchup winning catch interfered with to the point of being uncatchable.

But it all really came down to our old friend, Lamar Miller. The #3 RB in team history (behind Matt Forte and Alfred Morris), Lamar has been relatively disappointing in 2016 considering the high expectations everyone had for him. Entering the Sunday night game, he needed 40 yards to secure the 5th win of the young season.

Finally, it happened. Lamar would torch the Indianapolis Colts and thereby torch the Extreme Baby Throwers. He would end the week 6 drought and claim the first win for the franchise in what had been the most dreaded of all weeks. He would score two touchdowns after scoring none the rest of the season.

The Horsemen move on to 5-1 on the year – joining the Nosebleeds and Legs With Holes, their two most hated rivals. Only 3 teams in history have been 5-1 or better through week 6. One of them didn’t make the  playoffs – they were Legs With Holes. The previous best record for the Horsemen through 6 games was 4-1-1… their previous worst? 4-2.

The loss also sends the Extreme Baby Throwers to 1-5… only two teams in history had ever been 1-5. This year there are four. None of them in years past have ever made the playoffs.

Once again, the Horsemen chose their worst option at Flex. Edelman was outscored by Giovani Bernard, LeGarrette Blount, Frank Gore, Cameron Meredith and James White.

Week 7 is another shaky week for the Horsemen who sit at 1-3 all-time. They also face an opponent with whom they’ve had a high degree of difficulty against regardless of the state of either team, going 0-2-1 in games since Unpredictable left the Inner Loop conference.

Year	Week	Wes Score	O Score	W/L
2012	5	141	77	W
2012	9	75	84	L
2012	15	116	102	W
2013	10	84	151	L
2014	10	86	86	T
2015	7	108	125	L

Despite a 100+ point performance in week 6, the Horsemen are still averaging a franchise worst 96.8 PPG – their lone savior being the 82.3 PAG. The lowest points against for any team in league history for the season was 84.3 for the 2015 Nosebleeds which disguised their weak offense (91.7 PPG) and brought them to the playoffs.

3rd & Unpredictable haven’t proven to be especially explosive in 2016. Their 91 PPG average is 3rd to last in the league and they sit in a 4 way tie for worst record at 1-5.

The loss of Ben Roethlisberger for 4-6 weeks is a troubling development in the passing and receiving games of the Horsemen. Antonio Brown’s starting spot is now in question with Cameron Meredith and Stefon Diggs waiting in the wings and Jameis Winston looks primed to make his first start in a Horseman uniform. Famous Jameis has been shaky this season, but with so many people hoarding quarterbacks to slow the defending champions – the options are few.

The potential for the return of Tyler Eifert in week 7 could very well make up the difference in quarterback talent – and the flailing Matt Forte and injury plagued LeSean McCoy can hopefully make up for the downgrade in Antonio Brown.

The Horsemen are underdogs for the first time this season, with 3rd and Unpredictable (1-5) favored by 5. Despite the underdog status, ESPN Insider currently gives the Horsemen a 55.6% chance of victory.

A few more wins are still necessary to lock in that playoff berth, and the odds for the Horsemen have risen from 87% to 93% after their week 6 victory. After their bout with 1-5 3rd and Unpredictable, the Horsemen will face two more teams currently at 1-5 and more or less eliminated (Straight Laced & Drunken Aces) before the schedule begins to get somewhat more difficult.

Despite a strong season thus far, Strictly Southern may find themselves still on the outside looking in… like every other year.

Game of the Week
Extreme Baby Throwers (1-5) over Straight Laced (1-5)

Other Games
Nosebleeds (5-1) over Legs With Holes (5-1)
Bumpy’s Berries (3-3) over Drunken Aces (1-5)
Closet Hillbilly (4-2) over Strictly Southern (4-2)

Last Week 2-2
Overall 14-10