Horsemen looking to Straight Laced as ‘Get Right’ game

The Horsemen had every opportunity to win this weekend, but once again overtinkering led to a disappointing showing.

Thursday’s initial lineup saw Antonio Brown over Cameron Meredith, Jameis Winston over Blake Bortles, and Coby Fleener over Tyler Eifert. The total effect of these late changes? 26 points. 3rd and Unpredictable seemed to be gifting the victory, but even with the ridiculous decision to start both Buffalo running backs and bench Matt Forte the Horsemen just couldn’t get out of their own way. Lamar Miller just couldn’t handle the huge load on his shoulders this week.

And the Electric Horsemen have still not beaten 3rd and Unpredictable (2-5) since the division reorg prior to the 2013 season.

The Horsemen have now only scored over 100 points twice in seven games and their dwindling scoring average of 94.4 is 16 points worse than the championship team of 2015 through 7 weeks – the worst in franchise history.

The gutter tour saw a disappointment midway, but if there was ever a get right game, this next one is it.

Straight Laced (1-6) may truly be the worst team in league history. Not only have they joined the 2013 Tenacious Taco Tasters (Drunken Aces) as the only teams in league history to start off 1-6, but they also seem to be on the precipice of several statistical league records – bad ones.

They average 78.7 PF/G – nearly 3 points worse than 2015 3rd and Unpredictable who set the record with 81.5. On the season, PA/G is sitting at 105.3 – just half a point less than record holder, 2013 Extreme Baby Throwers, who got to 105.8. The worst average deficit on a season was previously the 2015 Extreme Baby Throwers, losing by 20.2 PPG. Currently, Straight Laced is crushing that record – averaging a loss by 26.6.

The Horsemen, on the other hand, are on pace to set the record for least points against. The 2015 Nosebleeds averaged 84.3 PA/G – the 2016 Horsemen… 83.7.

So, like in week 6 against the Extreme Baby Throwers, the Horsemen need a win solely to avoid complete embarrassment against a team that was once named ‘Dead Last’ and who is seeking once more to reclaim a regular season last place finish – for the first time since 2014.

Worth noting, Straight Laced (Dead Last) has gotten last place in every even numbered year so far.

Entering the Thursday game, the Horsemen are favored by nearly 30 with an 83.5% chance of victory. However, Straight Laced is currently awaiting availability of the New England Patriots defense to round out their roster. The Horsemen are conflicted at QB, but may give Fitzpatrick a shot as he resumes the helm for the Jets this weekend. They are similarly conflicted with the Jets defense – who may face the return of Josh McCown instead of another randomly inserted quarterback.

The playoff hopes are getting slimmer week over week for a few teams – as Strictly Southern and Bumpy’s Berries still have a slim shot at ousting Legs With Holes for the division title and likely the only playoff bid from the Outer Loop. Only one Outer Loop teams has made the playoffs the last two years. The Nosebleeds have more or less clinched, likely needing only one more win to solidify their spot (only one team with 7 or more wins has missed the playoffs).

Game of the Week
Bumpy’s Berries over Strictly Southern

Other Games
Nosebleeds over Extreme Baby Throwers
Drunken Aces over Closet Hillbilly
3rd and Unpredictable over Legs With Holes

Last Week 3-1
Overall 17-11