Berry exciting win in Week 3 to stay undefeated, Horsemen set sights on squashing resurgent Hillbilly

It was a battle for the ages, as the Horsemen and Bumpy’s Berries set a record for most combined points in a contest (I assume this, but the historian is not available to confirm). Despite a goose egg from Tyler Eifert because of some ridiculous NFL catch rules, the H-Men scored a massive 149 points, just 8 away from the league record. It was looking grim midway through the noon games, as Joseph Randle had a stupid first half (one that he will never duplicate) with 3 TDs, Keenan Allen was back to form, and Tom Brady being Angry Tom Brady and crushing opponents at will again. The Ryan-Julio combo looked productive once more with a pair of touchdowns, Frank Gore returned to form with a couple himself, and LeVeon Bell didn’t look to have much rust to shake off – and there was a glimmer of hope.

Entering the second slate of games, the Horsemen really needed a defensive touchdown or six from the Cardinals D/ST… and they got a couple pick sixes to get the game off right and would end Sunday with 149 points. Bumpy’s Berries did everything in their power to win it with a fumble-less performance by Jamaal Charles on Monday night… but there were too many points to make up and only one team would remain unbeaten as the Berries were felled 149-132 (worth noting is that the confident Horsemen lost a bet for lunch, betting on themselves -20).

Bumpy’s Berries could have easily been the highest scoring team in history and the win – but poor management led them to start Isaiah Crowell over LeGarrette Blount AND Devonta Freeman – both of which had 3 touchdowns.

Week 4 brings about an unexpected challenge. Closet Hillbilly was nearly unanimously selected as last place in the preseason coaches poll, but have come out flailing around uncontrollably and landing a few blows along the way to their opponents. After 2 sub 100 point games (64, 95), they exploded on the defending champion, Drunken Aces with 144 to go 2-1 on the year. Their inconsistency on the year makes them hard to predict – perhaps this is their gameplan to keep opponents guessing. They have won less games each year (9, 7, 5), and with a win this week would be set to break that pattern.

The two franchises have met 5 times with the Horsemen leading 3-2 and averaging the third least points for among all opponents – the margin of victory in the games has been tight, as well, with the average margin at around 11 and the biggest loss only by 14. They’ve never played this early in the season, as they’ve historically met for the first time in week 5, and the Horsemen have never lost to anyone in Week 4 or scored less than 109 – averaging an 18 point margin of victory with 113 PPG.

While there is concern with how the loss of Roethlisberger will affect Antonio Brown and LeVeon Bell, one might assume the two best players at their position would be able to continue to perform as such. Reports from practice have suggested there will be a game time decision between Lamar Miller and T.J. Yeldon at the flex with Julian Edelman on bye.

ESPN is conflicted about the favorite in this one, suggesting the Horsemen have a 50.3% chance of victory and the better team, but favoring the Hillbilly by 0.3 points. History would suggest the 3-0 Horsemen pull off the victory.