Horsemen continue infinite sweep of Berries, look toward slowing the bleed

“Why not have the luxury of the best kicker in the game?”
“That’s not a luxury.”
“It is when it’s your second to last pick.”

Kicker proved to be a luxury in week 1 as the Berries, who claimed Chandler Catanzaro off of waivers shortly before the matchup began, fell by 12 points. Twelve points was the exact amount of points that Horseman, Stephen Gostkowski, would outscore Catanzaro.

It was looking grim after the first set of games. Fleener goose egged in one of the most explosive games of the afternoon. Gore did regular Gore things, which means 6 points. Giovani Bernard proved to be one of the absolute worst decisions to flex – as Edelman, Blount, Diggs, Sims and Powell all outscored him from the bench (the offensive coordinator was napping, and thus did not give his input on the flex spot). Lamar Miller’s high volume and Julio Jones’ touchdown on an otherwise underwhelming day breathed life into the Horsemen – but it wasn’t looking overly promising.

Then Stephen Gostkowski happened.

Kick after kick sailed through the uprights off the leg of Gostkowski (14 points), while waiver wire add Chandler Catanzaro (2 points) would top off an inactive evening with a missed field goal.

What a luxury.

The Horsemen would ride into Monday Night Football with Big Ben and Antonio – quickly dispelling any doubt that the defending champions would start yet another season with a win. Antonio Brown’s 2 TD performance in his 37th start would  send him ahead of Matt Ryan for most points in franchise history.

Oh, and Bumpy’s Berries would go 0-7 all time against the Horsemen.

Week 2 brings an early start to the Battle of TC Jester. The up and coming Nosebleeds are coming off a complete trouncing of Straight Laced, who seem intent on being sub par for eternity. The Bleeds boast the #1 QB, wide receiver, and kicker after week 1 – as well as leading the league in overall scoring.

The last time the Nosebleeds scored over 130 points in a week they followed it up with a 60 point showing.

They do have some added motivation this year after being swept 3-0 by the Horsemen in 2015 (including the semi-finals) and losing the Battle of TC Jester in three consecutive years.

The Electric Horsemen obviously weren’t in midseason form in week 1, and look to be treading water until they get Le’Veon Bell back in uniform in week 4 and Tyler Eifert in the lineup somewhere around the same time.

Despite the Horsemen being 15.5 point favorites (the line moved to -9.5 before gametime), ESPN Insider gives them only a 39.6% chance of victory.

Game of the Week
Drunken Aces over Extreme Baby Throwers

Other Picks
Closet Hillbilly over Bumpy’s Berries
Legs With Holes over Strictly Southern
Straight Laced over 3rd and Unpredictable

 

Last Week 2-2
Overall 2-2