ELECTRIC HORSEMEN

FIVE-TIME COSMOPOLITAN OUTLAW LEAGUE CHAMPIONS
2015 • 2016 • 2017 • 2019 • 2024

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  • Somewhere around 2015 it became clear this wasn’t cyclical success anymore. It was infrastructure.
    The Horsemen evolved from a decent roster into a fully operational war machine.

    We actually beat them early on. That’s the cruel part. We won the first title. We thought we were building a dynasty. Instead, we became historians.

    Every season after 2013 felt like watching the same horror movie with a slightly different cast waiting around the corner with bad intentions. We folded the franchise before having to see how the story ended.
    There are rumors the Horsemen still score 125 in their sleep.
    Logan Collins
    Extreme Baby Throwers
  • Every year we convinced ourselves it would be different. Every draft, every projection, every waiver move… we’d talk ourselves into believing the Horsemen were finally vulnerable. We’d survive the regular season just long enough to get publicly executed around Week 13.

    The worst part wasn’t losing. It was the inevitability of it. By the end, TC Jester didn’t feel like a rivalry anymore. It felt like paying tribute to a criminal empire.

    Honestly, folding the franchise was probably healthier for everyone involved.
    John W. Morgan
    Nosebleeds
  • We beat the Electric Horsemen in the 2014 championship, and for a minute it felt like the league belonged to us. Rodgers, Gronk, DeMarco Murray, the old Tenacious Taco Tasters swagger. We stopped them on the biggest stage.

    Unfortunately, that the loss became the Horsemen’s villain origin story. From that point forward, the franchise turned into a football death machine.

    We still had good teams, but after 2014 every meeting with the Horsemen felt like watching the monster you accidentally created stomp through another town.
    Matthew Mullins
    Drunken Aces / Tenacious Taco Tasters
  • The 2015 title game broke us spiritually. Antonio Brown hanging 30 in the finals felt less like fantasy football and more like a public execution held at midfield.

    We actually had some incredible teams. Brady years. Jamaal years. Kupp years. Gibbs years. Didn’t matter. Somehow the Horsemen always had one more Hall of Famer, one more nuclear wide receiver week, one more kicker scoring 25.

    Facing the Electric Horsemen has become a league tradition somewhere between tax season and cattle disease.

    Honestly, 2 wins feels generous.
    Christopher Cuneo
    Bumpy’s Berries
  • We joined the league in 2018 thinking we were arriving at the perfect time. The Horsemen dynasty looked vulnerable. The three-peat barely happened. We thought we were walking into an opening but we walked into the middle of an empire.

    Every time we started building momentum, the Horsemen would unleash something absurd. The cruelest part is we were never terrible. We’ve just spent our entire existence trying to climb the standings while the Horsemen keep hanging championship banners over our heads.
    Glen Hicks
    Dangerous Angels
THE HORSEMEN BRING:
COMPLETE DOMINATION

62% win percentage over the last 14 years

CONSISTENT PERFORMANCE

Only 3 losing seasons in franchise history

ICE IN THE VEINS

5-1 record in championship games,
81% record in rivalry games

trainer 101

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THE GREATEST FRANCHISE IN COMSMOPOLITAN OUTLAW LEAGUE HISTORY

Built through ruthless drafting, questionable trades, and complete emotional instability.

Fantasy Points Scored

Bodies Buried

COL Championships

Meet The TEAM

A management team that defines dedication.

Gahteeay

Founder, Chief Executive Officer, Head Coach

SPECIAL NESS

Spirit Coordinator, Limited Partner, Significant Other

OLD MAN TURTLE

Assistant Coach, Offensive Coordinator, Heir to the Throne


NERDLETTE/NERDLE

Domestic beer distributor, iPad Operator

    MEXOLINA

    Bringer of buckets to draft parties, #1 fan