Worst week of 2018 sufficient to beat worst team of 2018

It’s fair to say the worst week to date by the Electric Horsemen came at an ideal time. 

The one bright spot from this game in regards to the Horsemen was the fantastic performance of trade throw-in Duke Johnson from the Stefon Diggs trade. His 25.1 points would nearly double that of a combined Emmanuel Sanders and Kerryon Johnson. Thanks to Ted’s poor sense, the running back war chest of the defending champions has only gotten greater despite the loss of Johnson.

The 106.1 points by the Horsemen is the least points since week 11 of 2017 when they scored 62 points… against Straight Laced. The 89.5 points scored by Straight Laced is the least points scored against the Horsemen since week 14 of 2017 when 79 points were scored against them… by Straight Laced. The overreaching theme of this conversation is that Straight Laced is a tremendously poor team led by tremendously poor management – despite being gifted the #4 wide receiver in football in the offseason by the Horsemen.

The season has passed it’s tipping point and the Laces are on the way out. There could be a miracle scenario in which they win out and somehow make it to the playoffs with a 6-7 record, but there is likely a less than 0.5% chance of this miracle scenario playing out with games against 3rd and Unpredictable and Closet Hillbilly on the horizon. A promising 8-5 2017 campaign ended by the Horsemen seemed to bring hope of a franchise turnaround, alas, it was not to be. They may have broken their 5 year streak of losing seasons in 2017, but a streak of winning seasons is now out of the question as they do some soul searching to find some answers – and some budgeting to make sure they can afford a good chunk of a 12 man bar tab.

The home stretch is upon us, and the Horsemen have a very flimsy grasp on the first seed of the playoffs. Losses to two of the 6-3 teams make a 4 way tiebreak necessary to maintain the seed if they don’t maintain their current one game lead. This seems unlikely, as the Extreme Baby Throwers have remaining games against two of the other 6-3 teams and Strictly Southern has a clear path to winning out after a somewhat challenging XBT game this week. Closet Hillbilly also has a cupcake schedule aside from the somewhat challenging XBT game in the final week of the season… Electric Horsemen fans are clearly rooting for the Baby Throwers to pull off some victories to solidify their position – but they have some work to do on their own, as well.

The Horsemen follow up their game against the last place team with a game against the 2nd to last place team – and a team they hold a strange rivalry against despite the franchises being complete polar opposites of the success spectrum. Legs With Holes is matter of factly a train wreck. Once upon a time they were the best team ever to miss the playoffs but most recently they were the worst team to make the playoffs, handing over the 2016 championship to the Horsemen without a fight. Since then, they’ve managed to completely destroy their team – sending away most of their quality players for draft picks, and then sending away any players that develop from those draft picks for other draft picks, and so on and so forth. A neverending cycle of team decomposition that has led to the least regular season points scored of any non-franchise team. They also have the 2nd least points in 2018, only surpassed by the expansion Heavy Pistols.

Legs With Holes haven’t beaten the Horsemen since a 33 point trouncing in week 12 of 2015 (the year of the first Horseman championship), and the Horsemen are now on a 3 game winning streak after dropping the first 4 games in the series. They have won the last 3 by an average of 43.67 including a 78 point beat down in the 2016 regular season before meeting again in the championship where they would win by 25.

There is temptation within management to start LWH castaways Marlon Mack (acquired by the Horsemen in free agency after being released by LWH, who has scored 20.9 and 27.9 points since being freed) and Duke Johnson (added as a throw-in to clear roster space for the Sanders and Kerryon acquisition instead of any number of worthless assets, who scored 25.1 points in the one game since he was traded). They’re both quality starts, but this week also sees the return of Leonard Fournette – so the final lineup remains up in the air.

An upset this week would be one of the biggest upsets in league history – even if the Horsemen don’t start a kicker.

The Horsemen are 28.3 point favorites with a 71.2% chance of victory according to ESPN and an 82.7% chance via FantasyPros.

Picks went 4-1 last week and the total ramps up to 30-15. We’re down to the nitty gritty or something, with several playoff spots wide open. We could potentially have four 5-5 teams after this weekend is over.

• Heavy Pistols @ Dangerous Angels. The expansion battle everyone has been waiting all year to see. This game is pretty winnable for the struggling Pistols, but the Dangerous Angels have to be pumped up to be playing toward the possibility of a playoff berth. Corey Clement should not be starting on any team and there’s no reason Alfred Blue should even be on a roster during his bye week. This is a close one, but the Angels pull off the victory to keep hope alive.
• Closet Hillbilly @ Bumpy’s Berries. The more I look at the Hillbilly roster, the less impressed I am. They’ll be without their #1 receiver and have potential goose eggs from about 4 roster spots with entirely inconsistent players. The Berries are in a logjam for one of the last playoff spots and a loss here probably has them thinking about 2019. They win this one to go to .500 and play another day.
• Straight Laced @ 3rd and Unpredictable. Injury and bye weeks have set Unpredictable back and without a huge performance by one of their steady guys, this one could easily slip away and make the playoff picture even more complicated if they fall to 5-5. The Laces are without Lamar Miller, but he doesn’t really seem like too much of an upgrade over Ito, anyway. Laces take it – inspired by lowering their bar tab percentage.
• Strictly Southern @ Extreme Baby Throwers. XBT still isn’t as good as they think they are. Strictly Southern has a clear path to the Dumpy championship.
• Drunken Aces @ Nosebleeds. It’s not exactly win or go home, but it feels like it. These two 4-5 teams should be leaving everything on the field this week. The Nosebleeds lineup is pretty gross after Melvin Gordon and I see them taking the loss this week. They have two Bears in their starting lineup.