Throwers tossed aside, Horsemen with best start in franchise history

With their fifth straight victory since an unfortunate week 3 loss to the lowly Drunken Aces, the 7-1 Horsemen have more or less clinched a playoff spot with 5 games left to go. Only one team has ever missed the playoffs with seven wins – and it was obviously Legs With Holes.

Despite only the third sub 100 performance of the year by the Horsemen against a team seemingly on the way to the playoffs, this one never felt close… because it wasn’t.

The Extreme Baby Throwers, coming into this contest at 5-2, could muster only 58 points in a matchup with the potential to nearly seal a playoff berth. This would be the least points scored against the Horsemen thus far in 2017, with the next least coming from the same team in week 4. The 2017 battle between these two Inner Loop foes would favor the Horsemen by 102 points – the largest differential in the history of these two teams.

Steve Hauschka would lead XBT in scoring, but despite his heroic 11 point effort they would not overcome. Single digits from Dak, Julio, Thomas, Ertz and Antonio would not be enough to pull off the upset… as pretty much everyone on their team would score in single digits as well.

As predicted, this volatile franchise seems destined for elimination in the coming weeks.

The next best start in Horsemen history was a 6-2 record way back in… last year… when they were 6-2 and on their way back to the championship game for the third straight year. At 107.1, they are still averaging 4.3 PPG less than the 2015 championship team… who were 4-3-1 at this point.

The one thing that stands between the Horsemen and an undefeated season – are the lowly Drunken Aces. An unfortunate loss in week 3 is still hard to explain. The Drunken Aces would score 106 points – their season high. The Horsemen would score 86 points – their season low.

The Drunken Aces have no other game over 80 points. Without that game they would be averaging 69.5 PPG… with it, they are averaging 74.0 PPG – which is amazingly still better than Closet Hillbilly and Legs With Holes.

The Horsemen haven’t scored under 90  since.

The Drunken Aces now sit at an uncomfortable 2-6, their only other victory coming against the actual worst team of all time – Legs With Holes. Two of their five keepers (because they inexplicably dealt away Rob Gronkowski) are currently resting comfortably on IR – Aaron Rodgers & Greg Olsen. Joining them are Julian Edelman and Corey Coleman. This is probably the healthiest their lineup has been in weeks – as their bench has been home to numerous worthless players who have also been injured… yet the team chemistry was too great to let anyone go.

Golladay hasn’t done anything since week 1.

Corey Coleman… he had points in week 1, too.

Corey Davis? Oh, he hasn’t done anything… period.

With so many players injured, why would he not make moves to free up roster space for startable assets? Because he’s terrible at this and will always be terrible at this.

The Horsemen, on the other hand, are not terrible. They come into week 9 with Antonio (WR1) Brown and Le’Veon Bell (RB4) on bye – but return Emmanuel Sanders from injury and Todd Gurley (RB3) from his bye week. Despite missing two of the top players at their position, they appear to be strong favorites to win.

The injury report popped up a few late arrivals, as Ertz and Lamar are both questionable with hamstring and knee ailments. And Lamar has also lost his quarterback to a season ending ACL injury – which should greatly reduce his scoring opportunities following a season high last week.

Despite their bye weeks and injuries, the Horsemen look set to deal the biggest loss in league history to the Aces.

The Horsemen are a 25 point favorite with an 89% chance of victory. Both increases from their week 3 meeting, and both the 2nd highest of the season.

Last week’s picks went 3-1. They would have gone 4-0 but Chris Hogan got hurt so he was unable to put up the 80 points I was projecting. This leads to an improved 15-17 on the year.

This week…

  • The Nosebleeds will continue their run at the playoffs by ousting the bad-trade-offerer, Closet Hillbilly.
  • The Extreme Baby Throwers will continue their run at missing the playoffs by being ousted by the playoffless Strictly Southern.
  • Legs With Holes will pull of a surprise upset, beating Straight Laced.
  • In a close one, Bumpy’s Berries will slip by 3rd and Unpredictable.

*divisions and tiebreakers are not taken into consideration

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