No contest in BOTCJ VI

For the 6th time in as many years the Nosebleeds have lost the opening game of the Battle of TC Jester. For the last 2 years, the loss was directly related to poor team management. This one may have been more egregious than the last and fans are surely calling for the coach’s head.

It was last year, week 2 to be exact, the Nosebleeds would bench the Denver defense – one of the highest draft capital defenses – in favor of the Ravens defense. They also started Adrian Peterson AND Rashad Jennings over Melvin Gordon that week. They should have rolled the Horsemen at home… but they couldn’t get out of their own way. While the defending champions made many questionable decisions of their own, they paled in comparison.

Now let’s go to 2017… week 2 of 2017, to be exact. Thursday night of week 2 of 2017 to be exacter. The Horsemen had a moment of pity before the Thursday night Bengals/Texans game and asked publicly if the ‘bleeds were really intent on starting the Bengals over the Broncos. There were a few disparaging remarks about the savvy of such a move (the Extreme Baby Throwers bet and lost a $2 scratcher that the Bengals would prove more lucrative), and the lineup was left unchanged.

Fast forward now, if you will, to Sunday morning of week 2 of 2017. The Horsemen, again trying to be compassionate for his lesser foe, asked if the Nosebleeds were REALLY going to start Adrian Peterson. In week 1 his usage was poor, his performance un-legendary. A game script against the Patriots did not look to fit into his skillset. Once again, the pleadings of the Horsemen to foster a competitive game were ignored… and Adrian Peterson proved awful, once more.

In fairness, there were moments the game was in question despite the lunacy of the Nosebleeds. At one point, after a hot first half by Gronkowski, ESPN had the Horsemen odds down to a 10% chance of victory. It wouldn’t last, though. The Horsemen would have won with either their entire bench or their entire starting lineup. They’re just that much better than the Nosebleeds – a formerly admirable opponent gone wrong.

Week 3 brings the team voted second most likely to be sabotaging his own team. The New York Jets of the COL, if you will. In the offseason he moved Rob Gronkowski for Greg Olsen and Doug Baldwin. In the process of making this move he lost a keeper. He received no additional draft pick compensation.

Greg Olsen was quick to fold. A broken foot in week 2 would end his season for the foreseeable future. Doug Baldwin isn’t exactly crushing the competition with 6 and 4 points in his first two weeks.

But it gets worse, and maybe it’s not all by his own fault.

DeMarco Murray is questionable to play with a hamstring malady (the Horsemen have Derrick Henry, by the way) and DaVante Parker has also been limited in practice this week. Doug Martin remains suspended, Julian Edelman is sharing the IR with Greg Olsen – with no space for the also IR’d Corey Coleman – and Corey Davis has already been ruled out for the week.

Zach Miller was picked up after the original publication of this preview just to be a jerk.

The Horsemen lead the overall series 9-3, obviously the 2014 championship game still stings – as they would be playing for their 4th consecutive championship had it gone the other way. Their 13.75 average margin of victory is the 2nd highest among COL opponents and the Horsemen score 12 more points per game in away games than at home.

The flex spot is again a position of much debate this week. Michael Thomas, Lamar Miller and Derrick Henry have each seen reps in practice – but the coaching staff seems to be leaning Michael Thomas unless DeMarco Murray is ruled out and makes way for a full workload for Derrick Henry. If this happens long term the entire league is in trouble.

This will be the first week we’ve seen a battle at tight end, with the newly acquired Jason Witten raising eyebrows in the league with his current TE1 standing.

It will likely be a bloodbath. ESPN has the Horsemen as a 17.5 point favorite and a 86.2% chance of victory.

Last week’s picks were 2-2 for a strong 2-6 record.

This week…

• Bumpy’s Berries will continue their resurgence and trash Closet Hillbilly.
• The Nosebleeds will wallow in their own sadness from last week and lose to the Extreme Baby Throwers.
• Legs With Holes won’t play a kicker again and will lose to the well rested and refreshed Straight Laced. 
• 3rd and Unpredictable will smash up Strictly Southern because it’s fun to see teams without wins.