Horsemen squash ‘bleeds, head to second straight Championship game

For the third game in the 2015 season the Nosebleeds didn’t have a chance against the Horsemen. This one, an eleven point contest, brought the average level of destruction to 39 points per game on the season. To put that into perspective, the largest victory of the series before 2015 was only by 23 points back in early 2013.

The vetoed Tom Brady trade would have enlarged the point differential in round one of the playoffs. Messages left by the Horsemen with representatives of the Nosebleeds requesting thanks and an apology have not been returned.

YOU’RE WELCOME, WAYNE – AND I FORGIVE YOU FOR YOUR BAD ATTITUDE.

The Horsemen now lead the series 6-3 with the average margin 14.78 points in their favor.

Next up the Horsemen (8-5-1) face an opponent they haven’t seen since week 3 – and a lot has changed since then. Bumpy’s Berries (11-3) have had a carousel of talent take the field, but have remained the #1 team in the league for the majority of the year. Arian Foster came and went. Jamaal Charles was lost for the year. LeGarrette Blount broke his old man hip. Keenan Allen went away. It is nothing less than amazing that they ended the year 10-3 and the first seed in the playoffs. What’s also amazing is their preseason #7 ranking which they quickly dismissed (the Horsemen were #1).

This week the Berries are expected to debut at least three players added just days ago in Denard Robinson, Zach Miller and Chris Boswell (possibly Bryce Brown), and another that has been with the team just over a week in Tim Hightower. Four players that have not played a snap for the Berries will be starting in the championship game – that’s some serious roster turnover.

Similar to the Berries, the Horsemen have been dealt some significant blows this season. LeVeon Bell, their prized offseason acquisition, went down midseason. Julian Edelman broke his foot as they entered the playoff stretch. And TJ Yeldon, 2015’s first round pick, was lost just a week before the championship – leaving an opening for the Berries to sign Denard Robinson. Most recently, Tyler Eifert was placed on the doubtful designation due to concussion problems.

From their first meeting, a combined 7 starters out of 18 are expected to play.

There is only one team that has not beaten the Horsemen… and that one team is Bumpy’s Berries. Despite averaging the second most points of all opponents, the Berries have not yet been able to pull off the victory (0-5). This is likely because the Horsemen always seem to play up – averaging 120 points per game in these contests to the Berries’ 106. This is a different team and a different year with a bunch of random names no one mentioned all year long – but they seem intent on knocking off the Horsemen in the championship game as the Aces did last year.

Team	APF	APA	Delta	W	L	T	%
Bumpy’s Berries	120.00	106.00	14.00	5	0		100%
Extreme Baby Throwers	109.56	87.78	21.78	5	3	1	63%
Nosebleeds	109.00	94.22	14.78	6	3		67%
3rd and Unpredictable	101.67	104.17	-2.50	2	3	1	40%
Strictly Southern	101.40	109.40	-8.00	1	3	1	25%
Drunken Aces	96.10	84.80	11.30	7	3		70%
Straight Laced	92.75	91.00	1.75	2	2		50%
Closet Hillbilly	88.14	90.57	-2.43	3	4		43%
Legs With Holes	86.50	103.25	-16.75	0	4		0%

While the first round featured bitter enemies in combat, this championship battle is one between two franchises with very little bad blood and similarly powerful and revered teams (unlike the paper Inner Loop champions, the Nosebleeds, who would have been far overmatched by every team in the playoffs). The Berries were second in the league in scoring (106) and the Horsemen were first (112).

Vegas has the #1 Berries a slim favorite.

May the best (horse)man win.