Horsemen shock Pistols in championship showdown, reclaim title

In a championship spectacle that left the Cosmopolitan Outlaw League buzzing, the Electric Horsemen delivered a commanding 175.36 to 134.88 rout over the Heavy Pistols, a team that had danced with perfection all season, only to be humbled in a franchise-defining clash. The Horseman roster, a blend of firepower and finesse, dominated across the week, leaving the Pistols in their dust with a performance that will be etched in COL lore.

The week kicked off on Christmas, with the Chiefs facing the Steelers, where the Heavy Pistols’ Kareem Hunt and Horsemen’s George Pickens busted for both squads – Hunt squeaking by to a less embarrassing performance due to a touchdown – Pickens would lose two touchdowns to penalties. Later that Christmas Day, the Ravens took on the Texans, and the Horsemen’s Derrick Henry would overshadow the Beyonce Bowl while he bulldozed his way to 23.5 points with two touchdowns, while the Pistols’ Zay Flowers flopped with a measly 4.1 points in the same game, giving the Horsemen an early edge. Maybe the Pistols should have entertained trade offers in the offseason instead of acquiring a bust like Flowers.

Thursday night, December 26, saw the Cardinals at the Rams, where the Horsemen’s Trey McBride dominated with 24.3 points, hauling in pass after pass along with his first touchdown catch of the season, and the Pistols would rise to the challenge by starting an injured James Conner who would add a whole 1.8 points in the flex spot.

Saturday, December 28, brought the Chargers-Patriots matchup, where Horseman, Ladd McConkey, erupted for 25.4 points, snagging two touchdowns and racking up 94 yards on eight catches, torching the Patriots’ secondary and setting the tone for how the weekend would go for the Heavy Pistols. They had no players in this game to counter, watching helplessly as the Horsemen’s lead grew. Sunday, December 29, saw the early games widen the gap, starting with the Giants at the Falcons, where the Horsemen’s Tyrone Tracy Jr. posted a meager but acceptable 8.3 points and Drake London added 14.1 points, a dynamic duo that left the Pistols scrambling with no early contributors.

The Jaguars-Titans tilt on Sunday saw Brian Thomas Jr. explode for 20.4 points, including a long touchdown that burned the Titans’ defense, while the Pistols’ Chig Okonkwo could only muster 8.4 points, a feeble response to the Horsemen’s onslaught. In the Eagles-Cowboys showdown, the Horsemen’s Eagles D/ST reigned supreme with 20.0 points, fueled by a pick-six and relentless pressure, while the Pistols’ Saquon Barkley managed 17.9 points in the same game – a far cry from what they would need from him – and their Dolphins D/ST scraped together 11.0 points against the Browns, fading against the Horsemen’s defensive might. The Bills-Jets clash saw James Cook post 16.2 points, a decent effort but not enough to close the gap, while the Buccaneers-Panthers game saw the Pistols’ Chase McLaughlin tally 12.0 points, their lone highlight of the day.

Sunday night’s Packers-Vikings game added a steady 5.0 points from the Horsemen’s Brandon McManus, keeping their commanding lead intact. The Horsemen sealed their triumph on Monday night, December 30, in the Bengals-Broncos matchup, where Bo Nix erupted for 27.86 points, throwing for over 300 yards and three touchdowns, burying the Pistols’ hopes. Joe Burrow fought back valiantly with 42.98 points and Courtland Sutton added 14.0 points, but their efforts couldn’t overcome the Horsemen’s insurmountable lead.

With 175.36 points to the Pistols’ 134.88, the Electric Horsemen not only shattered a near-perfect season but also solidified their place as fantasy football royalty, leaving the league in awe of their electrifying dominance. This Week 17 triumph crowned the Horsemen as champions, a fitting end to a season where they proved they could outshine even the brightest stars – and all the naysayers.

The Horsemen now stand 5-0 in championship matchups, while the Pistols are on the other end of the spectrum at 0-2.