Disastrous season gets more disastrous

Coming off their first consecutive losses since 2016, the Horsemen come into an underdog situation for the first time since the same week of 2018. The cards just haven’t fallen right, with 3 of the 4 losses coming from terrible teams overperforming their averages by a significant amount. The Heavy Pistols would score 83 points more than their average in other games, Nosebleeds +16.3 and Legs With Holes +27.6. The Heavy Pistols haven’t won a game since that 160.5 point explosion in week 1 and have scored in the 50s the last two weeks. This year marks the first year that two teams have only reached one victory through seven weeks, bringing the total to reach this feat to four all time.

This week’s opponent isn’t having the same problems as the Horsemen – but found themselves in a similar predicament at 3-4 last year before emerging to sneak into the playoffs and go all the way to the championship game. 3rd and Unpredictable is leading the league in scoring

 

This one is more or less a must win. The schedule doesn’t get any easier going forward and it’s time to bring the Horseman firepower we’ve all grown accustomed to.

The Horsemen are a 4.6 point underdog, their first game as an underdog since week 8 of last year. ESPN gives them a 49% chance of victory, while Fantasypros comes in at 43.1%.

Week 7 offered none of the upsets that the Horsemen desperately needed to strengthen their playoff hopes. The bad teams are bad and this does not benefit a team in the middle of the standings, as each bad team loss necessarily distances the good teams from the middle. At over halfway through the regular season the Berries and Angels appear the most likely candidates to succumb to a 2nd half run by the Horsemen – this is easier said than done, though, as the Horsemen have the most difficult rest of season schedule.

The only game of true significance last week was the Horsemen v Laces, which shot Straight Laced up 13 to 97% and sent the Horsemen further into sadness down 17 to 54%. Hopefully week 8 brings some chaos to the standings and some hope to the Electric Horsemen… but no one behind them in the standings likely has any hope whatsoever, and are simply playing to avoid a bar tab. No 2-5 or worse team has ever made the playoffs.

• Pork Shanks @ Straight Laced – The Laces look like the real deal. Pork Shanks are exactly what you thought they would be.
• Heavy Pistols @ Legs With Holes – A preview of the Asshammer finals?
• Bumpy’s Berries @ Drunken Aces – The Berries would be an absolute disappointment were it not for that fateful day where they bid up for the Patriots defense. They would likely be 3-4 without them… The Aces aren’t THAT bad, but the misfortune of the most points against by a significant margin has given them an unsightly 1-6 record.
• Strictly Southern @ Nosebleeds – SS survived the worst bye week in recorded history but aren’t quite out of the woods yet. Ezekiel Elliott is on bye this week, Juju is sick and Josh Jacobs has missed several practices. The Nosebleeds may be one of the only 2-5 (or worse) teams left with any pride, but pride doesn’t win football games.
• Closet Hillbilly @ Dangerous Angels – A big Dainty South battle where the winner gets a step closer to the playoffs whereas the loser could potentially be only safe by a game. The Horsemen own the tiebreaker against Hillbilly, so they’ll likely be motivated to stay out of reach. If Davante Adams doesn’t play, this one could get interesting.