With bye week clinched, final BOTCJ brings little fanfare

The Horsemen clinched their bye with an easy win last week over 3rd and Unpredictable and now just have to watch the madness unfold for the next 2 weeks while seeding gets all sorted out and they find out who is going to emerge from the mess of mediocre teams to meet them in the semifinals. But, for what it’s worth, the Horsemen are 83.5% favorites to win on ESPN, 85.9% on Fantasypros and 32.7 point favorites.

It’s a truly anticlimactic final week of the season, as the Horsemen were emotionally crushed when Bumpy’s Berries fell to the Nosbleeds late in week 12. A win by the Berries would have given the back to back to back champions an opportunity to avenge their 2012 and 2013 eliminations in week 13 at the hands of the ‘Bleeds. Alas, now the Horsemen have nothing to play for this week aside from claiming the #1 seed in the playoffs over Dumpy powerhouse, Strictly Southern.

What’s more anticlimactic is that fantasypros projected the playoff teams back in week 2 – and haven’t waivered since. The only change from week 1 to week 2 was the insertion of Closet Hillbilly and the removal of Bumpy’s Berries – who have gone on to be a huge disappointment after preseason hopes of grandeur. What a boring year.

Strictly Southern was the only Dumpy team that wasn’t awful this year, as the other 5 of them are tied with the last place in the Dainties, Dangerous Angels, at 4-8. And while Southern attempts to become only the 6th team in league history to claim double digit regular season wins (and they would stand aside the Horsemen as the first pair of double digit teams in the same year in league history), the rest of the division is in a virtual playoff for a share of the bar tab.

The loser of Legs With Holes and expansion team, Dangerous Angels, will join credit cards with the loser of an old time Dumpy rivalry, Bumpy’s Berries and Straight Laced. Likely joining them are the Heavy Pistols – overmatched by Strictly Southern – which would make for an even three way split. There could be a fourth contributor if the Drunken Aces can’t overcome 3rd and Unpredictable, but if Unpredictable can pull off a loss they’ll be the first losing team in league history to make the playoffs. Really, though, an even four way split looks like the most likely outcome.

If the Horsemen somehow lose to the Nosebleeds, Strictly Southern can overtake them for the 1 seed with a victory over the Heavy Pistols. They are both significant favorites in their matchups.

Closet Hillbilly takes on old Inner Loop rivals, Extreme Baby Throwers, for the 3 seed. If Closet Hillbilly loses, they could fall as far as the 5 seed if the Nosebleeds can pull off the upset over the Horsemen.

That’s cute and all, but it’s more likely the Nosebleeds fall to the Horsemen and are overtaken by 3rd and Unpredictable who can surely beat the Drunken Aces this week. The ‘Bleeds and Unpredictable split the season series, but Unpredictable has a near 100 point advantage in total points scored.

My bold predictions for final seeding after week 13 plays out…

1 Electric Horsemen
2 Strictly Southern
3 Closet Hillbilly
4 Extreme Baby Throwers
5 3rd and Unpredictable
6 Nosebleeds

I’ll go even further to predict Closet Hillbilly over Nosebleeds and 3rd and Unpredictable over Extreme Baby Throwers. The Throwers, fresh off their latest threat to leave the league over a political argument that they themselves triggered, probably don’t have the heart to finish this playoff fight.

This will inevitably lead to a championship rematch between the Electric Horsemen and Strictly Southern… and a pinky ring championship trophy for the Horsemen.