No more losing allowed

After losing 3 of their last 4 and with only 4 games remaining, the Horsemen are truly on the brink. They can ill afford a loss this week and need some help at the top of the standings where there is a logjam of 6-3 teams waiting to collapse. They’ve been here before. In 2012 the Horsemen were 4-5 and looking for help. They thought they made it and came into

a week 13 finale against their rivals, the Nosebleeds. They would lose by 13 – the last time the Nosebleeds won the BOTCJ – and get sent packing. Can they muster up some greater heroics this year?

The Dangerous Angels have been a feel good story for 2019. From expansion darlings, in 2018 that finished in 7th – just outside the playoff race – to division leaders just a week ago. However, things may not be what they seem. The Angels have had a very home heavy schedule thus far this season with 6 games at home to only 3 away – they’ve lost all 3 away games. Now, with only a 2 game lead on the Horsemen, they enter the final stretch with the 3rd hardest schedule and 3 of the next 4 games on the road. These two teams have met only once, obviously, and the Horsemen were victorious 162 to 126.8.

If the Angels hadn’t traded away Cooper Kupp, they would currently have 2 of the top 5 receivers and 3 in the top 11… as a 2nd year expansion team. They also boast a late round tight end in Darren Waller who has turned into a top 3 option this year – but his production is mostly jammed into 3 good weeks, and he’s busted the majority of the rest. Apparently dogs lives get saved when Godwin catches passes. Here’s to no dogs surviving the weekend.

Byes have taken away the use of top 5 tight end for the Horsemen, Zach Ertz, as well as up and coming receiver Courtland Sutton. Ertz has been temporarily replaced by Jonnu Smith (unless something changes by gametime), but Courtland isn’t quite as easy to replace. The final roster opening will likely go to waiver wire disappointment, Ty Johnson, who looks to redeem himself after what looks like one of the biggest overspends of all time – a $201 purchase.

After a week a couple weeks off from being favored, the Horsemen are -6.7 this week. ESPN has them with a 51% chance of victory with FantasyPros agreeing for once, at 50.7%.

The Dangerous Angels took a hit last week, unexpectedly dropping one to the Heavy Pistols led by David Montgomery and the Cowboys defense. Their 15 percentage point fall was matched by the Closet Hillbilly, who would embarrass Bumpy’s Berries with a near 50 point showing by Russell Wilson. Can they do the same to 3rd and Unpredictable this week? The Pork Shanks and Heavy Pistols aren’t necessarily out of this if they can win out in this final four game stretch stretch – where the Shanks have an extremely favorable schedule going forward (depending on how you feel about FantasyPros ROS rankings).

• Legs With Holes @ Bumpy’s Berries – With the Berries being the only team that truly likes Legs With Holes this one is a sort of rivalry, I guess. Legs are riding a hot streak, winning one of their last 7 and back to back losses to Heavy Pistols and Pork Shanks to widen out the bottom of the standings. The Horsemen tried to acquire Emmanuel Sanders from the Berries, but could not stomach a literal cost of ‘all the tea in China’ to make the acquisition, as $2 billion was a very strong asking price. With the #5 wide receiver in Horseman history in the inside, Legs With Holes will benefit from the Trojan Horseman in a no-trade curse victory. If this comes to fruition, there will be a battle with massive playoff implications next week against the Horsemen.
• Straight Laced @ Strictly Southern – Only 2 teams have scored more than 103 points on the Laces this year, so they’ve more or less coasted this season. Only one win has been to a team with a winning record and they’ve gotten smashed by every playoff contender since their week 1 victory over Closet Hillbilly. The schedule has been kind to them, but it doesn’t continue in week 10. Southern has scored below 103 once, and have topped 140 the last 2 weeks – winning in convincing fashion. There is an embarrassment brewing.
• Heavy Pistols @ Drunken Aces – The Aces quit liking football months ago and will like it less after the Pistols running back stable stampedes them. It’s a good year to have a good draft pick, though, and bar tabs aren’t really that bad.
• Closet Hillbilly @ 3rd and Unpredictable – It’s pretty amazing watching Closet Hillbilly endure injury after injury and continue playing at a high level. Their running back handcuff approach once again serves them well and they’ve weathered numerous wide receiver injuries, as well. Russell Wilson has carried them on his shoulders as the number 1 quarterback in the league this year… their only other top 10 positional players are Amari Cooper, the kicker, and the defense. Can Russell persevere in San Francisco where others could not? Nah.
• Nosebleeds @ Pork Shanks – The Nosebleeds aren’t good – they’re very bad, but Pork Shanks looks like they’re in complete tank mode. Their running backs aren’t even starters. If Aaron Jones and Dalvin Cook get hurt this week, though… watch out.